Regardless of how civil you are towards your spouse, divorce will never be easy especially if there are children involved. Young children particularly, find the breaking of their family unbearable, as they lack the maturity and self-awareness to understand divorce. For this reason, they need to be helped through the process to ensure they come out okay. Although it will not be easy, there are several ways in which you can help your children adjust to the divorce.
Talk To Them
While breaking the news of the divorce to your children is difficult, it is better to tell them rather than try to hide the situation. Opting not to tell them only serves to prolong the agony because the news of the divorce will eventually get to them. Therefore, it is wise to sit your kids down and talk to them, preferably together with your spouse, at the early stages of the divorce procedure. Prepare beforehand with your spouse and agree on what to say so as to present a united front before the kids. While it is good to tell the truth about why you are divorcing, avoid getting into too much detail. Also, make it a point of assuring your children that their relationship with both of their parents will not change.
Prioritize Your Children
It is easy to become highly emotional during a divorce and make reckless decisions that will negatively affect your children while in an attempt to punish your spouse. To avoid this you should base all important decisions of the divorce on the well-being of your children. Hiring skilled and compassionate attorneys such as divorce lawyers Aberdeen will also help you keep your emotions in check and make sober decisions.
Listen And Reassure
Throughout the divorce proceedings, the children will experience a variety of emotions including anger, confusion, fear, and sadness. Encourage them to openly discuss their emotions and commit to listening to those feelings without getting defensive. This will give you the chance to straighten out any misunderstandings, comfort your kids, and assure them that they will continue to be loved, safe, and cared for.
Avoid Blaming Your Spouse
The worst thing you can do to your children is put the blame of the divorce on your spouse, regardless of whether it is true. This only makes an already difficult situation more painful, confusing, and traumatizing. Therefore, for the sake of the children’s emotional well-being, try as much as possible not to ruin the image they have of your spouse.
While it is good for your kids to learn to be flexible so as to swiftly adjust to the many changes that come with divorce, it is essential that you provide as much stability and structure as possible. Maintaining daily routines such as time for meals, homework, bathing, and having fun helps put the minds of the children at ease. To further provide a sense of calm and stability, make sure that these routines are similar in both homes.
Committing to take care of your children and putting the above tips into action is great, however, do not neglect yourself in the process. It is vital that you also take care of yourself so that you can be there for your kids.
Griselda Burns is a conflict management specialist who helps people get through family conflicts with relatively few problems or permanent negative effects. She recommends you hire the expertise of divorce lawyers Aberdeen from here to enhance your chances of getting a hassle-free divorce.